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Archive for the ‘Self Help’ Category

According to Psychology Today, 60% of remarriages fail. What are the reasons? Why do people believe that whatever went wrong the first time won’t happen again?

Have you gone through a divorce, found a new partner and are considering remarrying? Perhaps you’re afraid of making the same mistake twice and are thinking of living together first? Do you wonder if you’re doing the right thing?

Before You Say I Do, Again answers these important questions, and much more. Written by a divorce attorney with over 30 years of experience, the book is filled with insightful information, practical advice and statistics supported by research studies.

Other questions discussed include: Does your new partner have debts that will affect you?

Will her/his kids ever like you? Are there any health concerns? Do you know why your previous marriage failed or how you contributed to its destruction? Have you wondered at the legalities of the new marriage? How much are attorney fees? The author points out all the vital questions you should be asking yourself at this important and critical time in your life.

Before You Say I Do, Again is divided into 4 parts:

Part I takes you back to revisit your first marriage and the reason you’re now single; Part II discusses what you’ll need to do before remarrying so that you’ll be emotionally, financially and legally ready to take the first steps (this section includes a test to help you determine if you’re ready); in Part III, the author uses the ‘buying a car’ analogy to show the importance of ‘knowing’ before saying ‘I do;’ finally, Part IV is a compatibility test to determine how your new partner compares to your former spouse. There’s also an appendix that provides useful forms such as a testament, a pre-nuptial agreement and an asset organizer.

Besides being chock-full of information, author/attorney Benjamin Berkley writes in a simple, light, engaging style, making the reading experience enjoyable. The structure is clear and well organized. Best of all, it is written by someone who really knows what he’s talking about. If you or someone in your life is considering remarrying, please do yourself a favour and get a copy of this book. It is definitely an eye opener.

High performance is very critical to the survival of any organisation or individual. And when we talk about organisational performance, teams (human beings) are catalysts for its realisation. I have decided to review this text entitled “Ten Commitments for Building High Performance Teams” as a guide on how to achieve organisational performance through effective teams. It is written by Dr. Tom Massey, a corporate leadership trainer and coach with about 20-year experience in optimising individual and organisational performance.

Team performance, according to Massey, is only as strong as the collective performance of members. This consultant says when committed, collaborative individuals with complementary skills work together, a synergistic effect takes place because total performance is greater than the sum of the individual parts. Massey adds that in other words, one-plus-one no longer equals two; instead, it equals three or even more in a high performance team environment.

He says the ten commitments outlined in this text will help you get the right people in the right positions to develop a focused, values-driven, high performing team. The author advises you to learn how to get every member to take personal ownership of your team’s success by creating shared purpose, values and strategic goals.

Massey says through this text, you will be able to gain insights into how to set up profit-sharing, establish work standards and correct performance problems in addition to creating a learning organisation that is able to adapt to the challenges of the next century.

He adds that through this text, you will be better informed on how to build a team environment where people have fun and play to win. Massey submits that you will also be able to build a team environment with increased employee retention, job satisfaction, commitment and productivity that will propel your team to championship performance.

This text is segmented into ten chapters. Chapter one is entitled “Commit to getting the right people ‘on the bus’ “. According to the author, when you have the right people on the bus, with the right skills and a high-level commitment, regardless of whether you are a business manager or coach of a sports team, you will be successful. Massey says the first thing to start when picking the right people for your team is to develop job descriptions based on factors of success for each position.

One of the ways to excel in life is to know how to effectively position, sell or market yourself in every situation. And communication is very critical to success in this area. That is why I want us to examine this text entitled “How to Sell Yourself”, with the subtitle “Winning Techniques for Selling Yourself…Your Ideas…Your Message”.

It is written by Arch Lustberg, a communication expert whose client list contains a who’s who of business leaders, association executives, elected officials and top professionals in every field.

Lustberg taught Speech and Drama at The Catholic University of America in Washington, D.C. for 10 years. He co-produced the Tony Award-nominated musical “Don’t Bother Me, I Can’t Cope” and also produced and directed many record albums in the days of the LP, most notably Grammy Award-winning “Gallant Men” by the late Senator Everett McKinley Dirksen. He directed the United States Chamber of Commerce Communicator Workshops, prior to opening his own business, Arch Lustberg Communications.

Lustberg says communication implies the transfer of information from one mind to another mind, or to a group of other minds. He adds that it can be in the form of an idea, a fact, an image, an emotion, or a story, stressing that it can be written, spoken, drawn or danced, sung or mimed.

This communicator says whatever the medium employed, if the message does not reach the other person, there is no communication, or there is miscommunication. This author then submits that the premise of this book is therefore to stress that every time you open your mouth, in order for communication to happen, you have to sell yourself. Lustberg asserts that if you do not sell yourself, communication is nearly impossible and if you do, your message will get across.

According to him, we think of selling as being product-oriented. He educates that this is just one aspect of selling. In the case of product sale, the factors are usually the salesperson and the price, adds Lustberg.

He says even when there is a slight price difference, we rarely buy any big-ticket item from someone we really dislike. Lustberg stresses that ideas are not much different, especially that the only time we pay close attention to an idea being communicated by someone we do not like is when we have a heavy personal or emotional investment in the subject.

Whoa! I certainly didn’t expect this book to be anything like it is. I try to keep an open mind but when the son of one of the richest men on the planet writes a book about life, my mind rushes to ask “What does he know about the life that most of us experience?” My answer: “Nothing.” I am excitedly happy to announce that I was wrong, wrong, wrong.

By the time I got through the first chapter, I couldn’t put it down and every chapter was so filled with “quotable quotes” that the book began looking like the rainbow as I put sticky markers in to be sure I didn’t lose the thought. Usually in the course of reviewing a book, I place a half dozen stickers to show me where the “juicy parts” are. With Life is What You Make It I used something between 30 and 40. I would have to write a book about the book if I spoke to all those points.

Peter Buffet writes with an openness and honesty that is bordering on crazy innocence, laying bare his mistakes and errors in judgment to make a point so profound that you sit in stunned silence while you reflect on it. If there is anything spoiled about this “rich kid” it doesn’t show in his writing or his thinking.

The book is a down to earth – where the rubber meets the road – kind of book. At the same time it is deeply insightful. He challenges mediocrity and “luck,” and talks about what happens to people who have been “spoiled by advantages they have been born to but have not earned.” He has such passion for music that I, not being familiar with his work, went to his website and listened to his music as I read the last half of the book. It is a wonderful mix of hearing the passion and reading the words that combine in perfect synchronicity.

It is true that he has friends in high and wealthy places and people who reviewed his pre-published book have recognizable names like Clinton, Bono, Gates, Steinem and Turner. Yes. The book is for them. But the book is just as powerful for me and you, for the blue collar workers as well as middle management. It can speak to the janitor who cleans the office of top management who also should read it. It can speak to the kid in high school who is trying to figure out where his passion is and what he should be “when he grows up” as clearly as it speaks to those of us who are grandparents. It is for each of us who is trying to walk a path of authenticity, passion and generosity.